Manic Memoirs

I smell.... Jesus Cake!

2005-12-24T18:49:00.000-08:00

Every year, we have a tradition in our household which helps us all remember what Christmas is truly about. We bake Jesus a birthday cake and sing happy birthday to Him. It is Babygirl's favorite part of the holiday.

She loves being able to lick the spoon when we get done.

We didn't have enough room to write out Happy Birthday Jesus, so we just put:

HAPPY JESUS!

My babygirl is getting so incredibly big!

Take a look at this as proof!

She now refuses to let me use barrettes in her hair because "it's too babyish", and her little glasses just make her look so GROWN. I miss my lil' baby.... Where'd she go? Sniff... sniff...

BB in Baton Rouge

Ice Skating Is Not Only For Skinny White Girls!

2005-12-24T10:38:00.000-08:00

Today is Christmas Eve, and Babygirl and I went to the Baton Rouge River Center at 9:30am in the morning to go ICE SKATING!

It was soooo much fun, and Babygirl had a blast.

She even learned a few fancy moves while we were out there!

My daughter says that this was the all time BEST way to spend Christmas Eve together. I loved it. I will have to go buy us some roller skates to use around our neighborhood. It was soooo much fun!

BB in Baton Rouge

Another wonderful meme...

2005-12-15T21:14:00.000-08:00

I found this amusing...

Mark the ones that are true of you

[ ] I'm afraid of the quiet.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[x] I'm afraid of the dark.
[x] I'm afraid of facing my back to open doors at night.
[x] I am an "experimenter" - take that how you will!
[x] I believe in true love.
[x] I've run away from home.
[x] I collect comic books.
[x] I shut others out when I'm sad
[x] I stayed out all night.
[x] I open up to others easily.
[ ] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[ ] I watch the news.
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I love Disney movies.
[x] I am a sucker for pretty eyes.
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I curse once in a while.
[ ] I have (had) "x"s in my screen name.
[x] I've slipped and fell in public.
[ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation.
[ ] I love Spam.
[ ] I bake well.
[x] I have worn pajamas to class.
[x] I have a job.
[x] Talked on a phone for 5 hours.
[x] I like someone.
[x] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I am self-conscious.
[x] I love to laugh.
[x] I have tried alcohol.
[ ] I drink alcohol on a regular basis
[x] I have tried a cigarette.
[x] I have tried a cigar.
[ ] I have smoked a pack in one day.
[x] I like Lord of the Flies.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I have a few scars.
[x] I've been out of this country.
[x] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I love chocolate
[x] I bite my nails.
[x] I am not comfortable with being me
[x] I play computer games when I'm bored
[ ] I've seen a shooting star.
[x] Had a serious injury
[x] Gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] Have kissed a stranger.
[x] Hugged a stranger
[x] Been in a bloody fist fight with someone of the same sex.
[x] Been in a fist fight.
[x] Been arrested.
[ ] Laughed and had some type of beverage come out of your nose.
[x] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[x] Made out in an elevator.
[x] Swore at your parents.
[x] Kicked a guy where it hurts on purpose.
[ ] Been skydiving.
[ ] Been bungee jumping.
[x] Gotten stitches.
[ ] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[x] Bitten someone.
[ ] Been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] Gotten the chicken pox twice.
[x] Crashed into a car.
[x] Have been to Japan.
[x] Ridden in a taxi.
[x] Been fired.
[x] Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[x] Gone on a blind date.
[x] Had a crush on a teacher/coach.
[x] Been to Europe.
[x] Slept with a co-worker.
[x] Been married.
[x] Gotten divorced.
[x] Saw someone/something dying.
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day.
[ ] Been to Canada.
[x] Been on a Plane.
[x] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] Thrown up in a bar.
[x] Eaten sushi.
[ ] Been snowboarding.
[ ] Been skiing.
[x] Been ice skating.
[x] Cried in public
[ ] Walked purposely into traffic with your eyes closed.
[x] Liked someone even though you knew you shouldn't have.
[x] Thought of someone almost 24/7.
[x] Hated the world.
[x] Love GOD, and truly believe that I am on my way to heaven, despite all of my faults and shortcomings.
[ ] Have a crush on someone NO ONE would guess - right now - but won't tell, ever!
[ ] TRULY hate at least three people in the world.
[x] Do things because a "little voice" inside tells me to.

Feel free to copy and paste this meme into your own blog and answer them yourself! ;)

BB in Baton Rouge

We Like Our Lip Gloss Chunky!

2005-11-29T21:15:00.000-08:00

I am back from my long vacation back home to Vegas for the holidays. My mom now lives with my brotherinlaw and sister in a brand new home that I helped them finance in Las Vegas. My mom is selling her house, and their new home is just gorgeous!

I loved my trip home, I feel refreshed and revitalized - but I miss my mommy even more now!

I really miss my nieces, too. They usually act so quiet.

But once I get around them and get to them, the crazy side of them finally comes out.

I just love my nieces. They are the most intelligent, sweet, beautiful girls you could ever meet. (My youngest niece asked me what kind of lip gloss I used, and I directed her to the Revlon Super Lustrous Lip Gloss:

Which she looooves now! She told me that she "likes her lip gloss to feel chunky". And apparently, Revlon does.)

And my nephew is nothing to sneeze at either... little cute bugger that HE is growing up to be!

I am so proud of all of these kids... my nieces, my nephew, and my own babygirl. They are some awesome children, I tell ya. They all get along wonderfully, and they are all diverse, tolerant, considerate, and respectful.

Anyway... my sister was working like a little beaver (16 hour work days!) while we were there. This is her and my niece on the couch waiting for the food on Thanksgiving Day.

I have missed all of my family so much. We have been through a lot of personal stuff that I will not disclose here on the website, but needless to say, we have desperately needed eachothers' support. That is what I love about having a close knit family - you always know that they are there for you in your time of need.

So... let's back track. T.O., Babygirl, and I drove four and a half hours to Houston to the George Bush International Airport to fly out (because where Houston tickets to Las Vegas were $250 a piece, Baton Rouge tickets were $800 a piece!).

Here we are at the Houston Airport:

Once we arrived at moms house, everything was sweeeeeeeeeeeeet! The feast was amazing! My mom cooked up a storm. It was just great being with everyone again. Of course the pang of my father missing was still felt by all, but I know I felt his spirit there with us the whole day. Sigh... I miss my daddy more than I ever have before.

Here is a pic of me on Thanksgiving:

We just hung around the house being stupid on Friday. Here is T.O. comparing himself to the paused television screen showing a criminal being interogated on Law and Order Criminal Intent. Doesn't this dude look like the Hispanic version of my hubby?

LOL we were bored!

I also took the kids to go see the movie JUST FRIENDS at the Sams Town Hotel and Casino that night. It was a very good movie. A "feel-gooder".

Saturday night, my mommy bought us tickets to go see the show ZUMANITY at the New York New York hotel and casino.

It is an AWESOME freaking show!!!!! It is the adult-rated version of the Cirque Du Soleil show at the Treasure Island hotel and casino - we saw it last year on our honeymoon, so Mom wanted to make it a tradition to go again this year on our anniversary. She came along, and my brothers wife also came.

WE LOVE THIS SHOW. A MUST SEE if you ever venture out to Sin City!

Sunday, the cousins finally taught my babygirl to ride a two wheeler on her own (I know, I know, she is almost eight yrs old, and it's waaaay over due. The thing is, she never rides outside at home, she would rather be playing inside, blah blah blah)
ANYWAY, they finally taught her!! She was sooooo happy and proud of herself!

Monday we headed back out to the Airport and made our way back home.

I was so sad and bummed out to be away from my family again.

But then when I got home, there was a PACKAGE AT THE DOOR FOR ME! It was my BOOK! BROKEN VOWS, the very first copy printed, was AT MY DOORSTEP!!!!

Babygirl was so happy and proud of me, she stared at the book for a good half hour.

And THAT concluded my Thanksgiving vacation.

'Til Next Time,
BB in Baton Rouge

Deep breath... okay, here goes nothin'!

2005-11-20T00:33:00.000-08:00

So, look. I am a big scaredy cat when it comes to rejection. I admit it. I am coming to terms with it.

I have so much potential, and I am really realizing it just recently. I made a couple of gifts for my very good friend Debbie. They were decorated wooden name plaques for her son and daughter, and I must say, they were awfully cute! Everyone who saw them said, "Ohhh... you should sell those!"

I made my mom a very nice personalized poem with a picture of her and my dad framed, etc. for Mothers Day this year. People saw it and exclaimed, "Wow! You should sell those!"

Each time I have let someone read some of my short stories, fiction, or my novel, they always tell me, "MAN! You need to publish your book!"

Well, world, here I come. I have now published my book. BROKEN VOWS is now available to the public!! So, all of you out there who have been encouraging me to "take a step out in faith", now is the time to put your money where your mouth is! LOL Go to the link below:

http://www.lulu.com/content/187368

You can now purchase my book! See copy of the book jacket below:

I have had this book completed since 1999. The last six years, I have just held onto it, afraid to put "my baby" out there, scared it would get rejected, and my heart would be broken.

I've decided that I have heard enough people tell me that I "should" be doing something! I will finally realize my potential in at least one of these things!!!

I suppose we will see how successful it really will be. Thank you to anyone who chooses to support me in this endeavor. You don't know what it means to me.

BB in Baton Rouge

Trick or Treat?

2005-11-06T21:16:00.000-08:00

So, back in the day, my exhusband was a very devout Christian, and he was very intense in his views. It's a quality that I still admire about him, but it was very strict, at the same time. I still regret telling our daughter that Santa Clause was not real when she was two, and that was brought to my attention recently when she said, "Mommy, I wish you and Daddy would have just let me believe in Santa for just a little while. Just to pretend." We never let the kids celebrate Halloween, either.

Now, my ex and I have made a compromise, he allows her to trick or treat with me, as long as she doesn't wear a costume that has anything to do with demons, devils, witches, etc. This year, she was a ninja.

Also, T.O. and I went to a Halloween party held by a good friend of mine from work, and I went as a dominatrix!

And how was your holiday? ;)

BB in Baton Rouge

Thank You.

2005-11-03T08:51:00.000-08:00

I have to take a moment to thank you.

As we approach our first year anniversary, I have been contemplating our friendship, our relationship and our marriage. Someone asked me today if I am excited that we made it a year. I had to answer them, "Not really."

The reason why is because I know that this first year is just one of a lifetime worth of anniversaries. If you would've asked me on my first year anniversary with my exhusband if I was excited, I would have made a large gesture, wiped the sweat from my brow, and said, "Whew! YES! We made it!". However, because I know that you are The One, this first year doesn't hold near as much anxiousness and anticipation.

I can easily foresee spending the rest of my living days loving you and being involved in creating a strong support system for our family. I long for the day when I will carry your child, and I yearn for the moment when I will look over at you, after decades of sharing my life with you, and realize that we have grown old together. I can only imagine the look of pride you will have watching our grandchildren play in our living room and climbing up into your lap.

I want to thank you for making the last four years of my life the best years. I want to thank you for everything that you do for our family, by being the strong male role model for our daughter and for our child to be. Everytime I have needed you to hold me up when I was weak, you have never disappointed me. Your arms have always provided me security and comfort. You have always been my support, my protector, my lover. I love you endlessly. Thank you for being someone who I can be extremely proud of, a man who I can brag about, a man that I can admire and respect, and everything that a real father should be.

Thank you. Never forget that you are loved.

"You will always be my boo...."

2005-09-25T20:20:00.000-07:00

I have an old boyfriend who I wrote about a long time ago, see below for a recap:

August 2001 - Old boyfriend I haven't seen since high school comes into town from Korea, where he has been stationed in the Army. Haven't seen him in YEARS (graduated in 1996, you do the math). We rent a romantic cabin in the mountains (snow and all) ALL weekend. My mom watches my 3 year old daughter for me. She knows I am proud of my new body and my new independence and she's happy for me. (We don't tell my dad where I am going LOL) BEST time I have had in a long while... he is gorgeous and we laugh a lot. Neither of us holds any expectations - he knows I am still recovering and in no mood for a serious relationship yet, I know he is still traveling with his work and soon will be out of town for months, years even. Doesn't make the time we spend together any less TREMENDOUS.

I heard a song on the radio today that reminded me of him. "You Will Always Be My Boo". Pretty much sums it up. I love my hubby, and I know we were meant to be together, but you know, I think everyone has that one ex that they wonder, "What if... ?" This guy was that one for me. My family didn't like him at first because when we first started dating, I was twelve and he was sixteen, so they refused to let me see him. Once he had graduated and I also, they felt differently. When he came back from the army in 2001, which I wrote about above, my mom thought he was absolutely gorgeous. She wouldn't have minded us becoming serious - but at the time neither one of us was really in the position to do so.

I think our paths just ended up going in completely different directions. I still consider him a very good and close friend ( I mean, how many people do you have in your life who have known you for over fifteen years!? ). I speak to him still on occasion - he is in Kuwait right now.

I would never cheat on my hubby, and I know that he is the love of my life - but Sargeant Brown, "You Will Always Be My Boo."

BB in Baton Rouge

Cool Stuff.... I think very accurate!

2005-09-25T20:02:00.000-07:00

.:Venus:.

"You thrive on balance in all aspects of your
life. You have a great deal of passion and when
it comes to love, you like to play games. You
have a tendency to search for something better,
a search which always seems to come up short.
You have difficulty finding satisfaction in
life, but you have a great ability to get along
with almost anyone."

. : : Which Astrological Planet are You? : : . [10 Gorgeous Pics!]
brought to you by Quizilla

Survived Rita!!

2005-09-25T19:57:00.000-07:00

Well, Rita came and went without a hitch. Unlike Hurricane Katrina, this time our power and internet didn't even go out! WOOO HOOO we got really lucky. A lot of people in Baton Rouge had problems.

Anyway, I went to see Jessica at THE BUZZ hair salon on Saturday ( with a referral from a friend at work ) to get my hair layered. It is so funny when I go to hair salons, because I have found that although black hair salons may know how to style my hair better, white hair salons know how to do a layered cut much better.

It's funny when I show up though, because when I make my appointment on the phone, they think I sound white, but when I show up with all this big naturally curly black and chinese hair, their faces drop. LOL I always end up going into a big monologue about my race and my hair type and blah blah blah

Jessica handled it really well, and she did an awesome cut. She also referred a few creams, etc. to try in my hair to enhance the curls. I am going to dye it a nice shade of brown tonight (my roots are showing!) and then try some of the new hair products. I'll take a pic to show you later. Till then!

BB in Baton Rouge

Hurricane Rita has got me peein' in my pants!

2005-09-23T06:56:00.000-07:00

Okay, so we just got rid of Hurricane Katrina, and we're still reeling from it. Now here comes Hurricane Rita, and she's about to mess everything up all over again!

I have coworkers who live right near me who decided to evacuate! I overheard someone say, "If you are in Baton Rouge and you stay for Rita, you are as stupid as the people who were in New Orleans and stayed for Katrina!"

The fear engine is running, and I'm behind the steering wheel!

So babygirls school is closed today, and I am staying home with her. I hate to miss work at all because the mortgage brokers that I work with rely on me. But when things like this come up, I really have no choice, ya know? There's no one to watch my child, and my hubby and I do not have relatives who live near us. The closest family member is his mom in Opelousas, which is about an hour and a half away. She is not in top health, so I don't really want to leave babygirl with her, not knowing how good she is feeling. Also, I don't want to burden her, either. She loves her own space.

Oh well, I will let you know how it goes. The hurricane is supposed to reach landfall sometime late tonight or tomorrow morning. We will see....

BB in Baton Rouge

Don't we all love meme's? If not, sorry!

2005-09-19T22:33:00.000-07:00

Time started: 12:33am
Name: BB in Baton Rouge
Nickname(s): Family and close friends call me Nay
Single or Taken: Very Married
Birthday: September 6th, 1978
Siblings: One older brother (42), one older sister(40)
Eye color: Brown
Shoe size: 9-10 depending on the shoe
Height: 5’4”
What are u wearing now: Large Betty Boop sleepshirt that says "Wake Up Sleepyhead!".
Where do you live: Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Righty or lefty: Righty
Breakfast: Usually cereal on weekends, nothing on weekdays.
Aftershave/Perfume: Vanilla scented body spray - "Mmm... someone smells like cookies!" Yep, it's me.
Favorite cartoon character: Bender from Futurama

HAVE YOU EVER
Given anyone a bath: Yes, my babygirl, many times! And nieces and nephews.
have you ever smoked: Cigarettes, no. Weed... Yes, frequently for three months in college, then quit cold turkey.
Bungee Jumped: Hell NAW!
Parasailed: No - sounds cool, but I'm too chicken.
Made yourself throw-up: No - and... EW!
Gone skinny dipping: Nope, but always wished I did.
Been in the opposite sex's bathroom: Nope, never ever!
Eaten a dog biscuit: Ew no.
Got your tongue stuck to a pole: No
Loved someone so much it made you cry? Yes. Many times over.
Played truth or dare: Yeah, and someone always gets hurt.
Been in a physical fight: Yes
Been in a police car: Yes - sigh.... ((shudder))
Been in a sauna: Yes
Been in a hot tub: Oh Yeah
Swam in the ocean: Yes, in Okinawa, Japan.
Got stung by a jellyfish: Nope
Fallen asleep in school: Yup, in high school during those long boring history films, when they'd turn off the lights!
Ran away?: Only once as a small child, but I only got as far as the front yard.
Broken someone's heart?: Yes, unfortunately - many times over.
Cried when someone you love died: Yes. Yes. and... oh yeah. Yes.
Flashed someone: No, but wish I had the nerve - I mean, I live less than an hour from the French Quarter in New Orleans, for Gosh Sakes!
Cried in school: Yessirreee - I be a big baby!
Fell off your chair: No
Sat by the phone all night waiting for a call: Definitely
Saved MSN / YAHOO / AOL / AIM conversations: Yes, to show my hubby later.
Saved e-mails: Yeah, all the time.
Fallen for your best friend?: Yes, in elementary school - Chad Plourde, a hot long haired blond boy.
Been cheated on: I think so... no concrete proof.

First thing that comes to mind
Red: Apple
Blue: Sad
Autumn: Orange
Cows: Mooo
Greenland: No grass
Cat: Meow
nickel: 5 cents
Elbow: bend
arm: hairy (LOL)
Your good luck charm: My Babygirl
Whats your room like: Immaculately clean thanks to my "Monk-like (as in Tony Shaloub)" hubby, and very nicely decorated thanks to my FengShui master mommy!
Last thing you said: G'night (to my hubby)
What is beside you: A small fold out couch, a TV armoire with TV, TiVo, and an XBox
What kind of shampoo do you use? Paul Mitchell Cleanse and Paul Mitchell THE CONDITIONER
something that has happened to you this year: I went my first gaming convention and LOVED IT! Am now addicted
Had Chicken pox: Yeah a long time ago, when I was about 5.
Had a Sore Throat: Of course, more often than I'd like.
Believe in love at first sight?: Yes, I fell in love with my hubby that way.
Like picnics: sure, so long as there aren’t any ants crawling all over me.
Like school: Yeah LOVED school.
What schools?: Cheyenne HIgh School in Las Vegas, NV and Morris Brown College in Atlanta, Georgia. FUN TIMES!

Would you......
Eat a live hamster: Awwww.... NO WAY! Poooor lil thing!
Go to a hanson concert: No, but I do sing Hmmm Bop whenever it gets lodged in my head for some reason (like right now doggoneit!).
Kill someone you didn't know for 15 billion bucks: Wait - would anyone ever find out? Is it guarenteed that they would NEVER know it was me? Well, I don't know...
If you were stuck on an island, what people/person would you want with u? My father.

Who Was the last person................
You yelled at: My daughter
Who told you they loved you: My hubby before he went to bed.
Who is your loudest friend: Bridgette

Do you/Are You.....
Do you like filling these out: Yes.
Do you wear contacts or glasses: I have colored contacts but I never wear them - they have just enough prescription to be covered by my insurance LOL
Do you like yourself: Yes.
Do you get along with your family: Most of the time
Do you do drugs: No, I only tried marijuana in college.
Have piercing below the waist? Nooooooooo
Obsessive?: Yes
Depressed?: Sometimes - but I never talk about it
Suicidal?: Have been in the past - not anymore since I need to be here for my daughter.

Final questions
How many ppl are you sending this to: No one, I’m just putting it on my blog and we’ll see if anyone wants to fill it out too.
What are you listening to right now? Dawn and Drew Show Podcast (go to DAWNANDDREW.COM!)
Can you do a front or back flip?: On purpose? NO!
what did you do today: Watched a life come into this world, called into work, decorated my close friends home to announce her baby being born, cooked a casserole, watched Oprah Winfreys 20th season premier (hey, is she quitting this year? say it ain't so!), and wrote in my blog.
What is your favorite band: Better than Ezra
Hated someone in your family: Yeah, but he deserves it.
Got any awards: Yes, Best Newcoming Actress for my Senior High School role in RAISIN IN THE SUN by Lorraine Hansbury (I was Ruth!) And many awards at my jobs - Top Dog, Best Collector, Employee of the Month, etc.
Have you ever gone streaking?: No, what a sight that would be!
Want to get married: Well, I am married.
What is your favorite video game?: The Sims 2 University and Grand Theft Auto San Andreas Fault (my guilty pleasure)
If you could change anything about yourself, what would you change: My weight
Have a lava lamp: No
How many remote controls are in your house: I think 6 or 7.
Are you double jointed: No
What do you dream about: Now this is something only my family and VERY close confidantes know... I predict things in my dreams. For example, I dreamt a couple of weeks ago that Debbie had her baby at 3am and woke me up in the middle of the night to come see her at the hospital (she had the baby at 3:31am!) I dreamt my daddy was going to die about a month before he passed away.
Last time you showered: about 9 hours ago when I got home from decorating Debbie's house, I was sweating like a hog.
The last movie you saw at the theatre: Hmmm it was something with my daughter so it must've been a kiddie movie... man! I can't remember!
Scary or happy movies: Both, but I like psycological thrillers, not scary like with ghosts or monsters.
Root beer or Dr. Pepper: Diet Dr. Pepper
got any alcohol drinks??? Yeah, I looooooove Smirnoff Twisted - green apple, tangerine, raspberry MMMMMMMMMMMM
Silver or Gold: It used to be gold, but now I like silver more - depends on the outfit, naturally!
Sunset or Sunrise: Sunset - I'm not getting up that early !
Phone or in person: In person - it's very hard to catch me on the phone.
Oldest, middle, youngest or only child: youngest child and only - my dads only biological child, but I was raised with my half brother and sister who are both older than me (and we never used the term "half brother" in my household - they were and ARE my brother and sister), so I am youngest too!
Do you want your friends to fill this out and send it back: only if they want to
time end: 1:00am

A BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY IS BORN!

2005-09-19T08:53:00.000-07:00

At 3:31AM this morning, my good friend Debbie Knatt-Jones' baby was born!

Please go to www.forlesterjunior.blogspot.com for details! Whew! Time for some sleep! I've been there all morning, and used my PTO (paid time off) from work for today, so it's beddy bye time for me now.

I am heading back to the hospital later to bring Lester Sr. one of these yard Stork Signs that tell people you just had a baby.

Nightie Night!

BB in Baton Rouge

Happy Birfdayz 2 MUAH!

2005-09-06T08:23:00.000-07:00

It's me birfday!

At work they hooked me up with a cake (mmmm 1/2 lemon and 1/2 chocolate dobash cake! Dobash cakes are multilayered, and have such an awesome delicious icing that you will SLAP SOMEONE ELSE'S MAMA!), and some balloons!

A group of folks took me to Copeland's Restuarant (my girl Debbie treated me - see her website at www.forlesterjunior.blogspot.com).

My Babygirl saved up all her money and gave me a printer/scanner/copier for my birthday!

... and of course, my hubby, T.O., got me something related to gaming, as always! He knows I am a total City of Heroes addict, and he bought me a 6 month subscription (not cheap!.







I had a wonderful birthday. Thanks to everyone who made it so.

BB in Baton Rouge

Couldn't Find The Words to Describe It...

2005-09-04T07:36:00.000-07:00

I tried to write about Hurricane Katrina and the horrific aftermath many times. I started typing and had to stop mid-post. What can I possibly say that can be useful at this time? What can I say that isn't what you have heard a million times before?

I'm sure you all have heard the news regarding Katrina, but if not, check out this link and then head back here for less news and more commentary:

http://news.yahoo.com/fc/world/hurricanes_and_tropical_storms









































The suffering is horrendous, the death toll is indescribable, the loss is unimaginable. My home is pretty much smack dab between New Orleans and Baton Rouge; I am about 45 miles from each city. Thank God our home was not damaged and we did not suffer much more than a few days without power. I spent those days with my husbands mother in Opelousas, a city about an hours drive north of Baton Rouge. The storm did not effect Opelousas in the least - aside from a little wind.

The pictures on the web and the scenes shown on the news depicting the disgusting condition of the Superdome and the amazing rooftop rescues touched me deeply. Oprah Winfrey brought her cameras to Louisiana during the week that followed the hurricane, and her footage deepened my sadness.

I did a small part in contributing to the local shelters, etc. but you tend to feel that nothing is enough. Not when you see the children's helpless faces, and I think about how blessed my daughter is. I think of how I ache inside if she feels the slightest sadness or pain, and these people have to sit by and watch this trauma effect their children, let alone themselves, with absolutely nothing that they can do themselves.

How must it feel to be at the mercy of other people, hoping that someone cares enough to care for you and your loved ones? What must it feel like to have everything one day, all of the comforts of home, and the next be living in a shelter with so many other people who have experienced this same disaster? It's indescribable - I can't fathom the despair and hopelessness that many faced, watching their family members die and having to think of the family and friends who are missing or may have been left behind.

Inconvenience - that's all I experienced, THANK YOU JESUS. At work, our email and phone lines were disrupted for a few days. It takes an hour longer to get there each day due to increased traffic on our roads. SO WHAT?

Do you know what angers me? What digs deep and pisses me off? When I hear people, who are miles away from this unthinkable destruction and have NO IDEA what they are talking about, when I hear them say ignorant things like, "Why didn't those people just leave when they were told it was coming their way?" (Many in the poorer sections of town did not have trasportation, not everyone owns a vehicle. There were some who were too elderly to leave and had no way to get out. Who knows why many stayed in the city, but does it matter? Does it ease their pain any to make such a stupid and arrogant comment?) and, "What people couldn't fix, God did." (This is in regards to the poorer people in the city being killed and their possessions being destroyed, as if God hated them and punished them by 'cleaning out the city'. I have no words for this crass ridiculousness.)

I think I will leave it at that. It's far from being over, but all is comparatively well in my household. We are safe and sound, and we have everything we started out with. God Bless those who can not say the same.

Willy silly nilly ole bear....

2005-08-27T19:00:00.000-07:00

Babygirl and I went to the Baton Rouge River Center and watched

It was so much fun! We were entertained, and the play was highly audience interactive. I would definitely recommend going to see if if it comes to your town.









We had a blast! This weekend turned out to be pretty fun after all!

BB in Baton Rouge

Busy Weekend

2005-08-23T07:55:00.000-07:00

This weekend was insane. Babygirl spent the night at her gym on Friday, for KIDS NIGHT OUT, and I picked her up at 7:30AM Saturday morning. (It is blasphemous to wake up at 7am on a Saturday - I repented.)

Then she had a swimming birthday party for a school mate of hers - Happy Birthday Abagael (yes, that is how she spells it)! They had a community pool in a very nice neighborhood, complete with clubhouse and playground. I am so jealous. Our neigborhood is just like that one, why can't we have a community center like that?! That would be so awesome. Babygirl loves to swim, so she would be in heaven if we lived in a neighborhood like that. Well, once we decide to upgrade, maybe that will be something I will be looking for. So anyway, she attended the party from 10:00am - 12:30pm.

I took a quick nap, and then Babygirl and I went to the local Walmart to get last minute preparations for a baby shower I was throwing for my close girlfriend. I hosted the babyshower along with my old friend from my previous job at Ameriquest - we had it at her home. It was wonderful.

For pictures of the party, and for some cool baby shower ideas, go to the link below:

www.forlesterjunior.blogspot.com

Well, that was my weekend - I have no idea what this one will bring, but I hope it is more restful.

BB in Baton Rouge

I have discovered PODCAST!!

2005-08-03T19:28:00.000-07:00

Wow, how cool is Podcast? For the last few weeks, I have been a walking zombie. All I do is listen to podcasts, and when I am not listening to podcasts, I am thinking about the next time I can listen to a podcast.

Okay, that is not really accurate. I am not listening to PODCASTS. I am listening to ONE PARTICULAR PODCAST. It's the Dawn and Drew show. www.dawnanddrew.com

But be forewarned, before you go to that website. You will get addicted. You will not sleep. You will spend hundreds of dollars on either an Ipod, or a bunch of blank cd's that you can burn the show onto so that you can listen to them when you are driving to work and driving home. You will dream of Dawn and Drew.

It's pretty scary, really. A podcast is a broadcast by regular people like you and me, or like Dawn and Drew. They are a young married couple (she's white with pink hair (rawk on) and he is white and Latino (how hot is that?) ), living in an old retired farmhouse in Wisconsin. They talk about sex and love and stupid stuff.

T.O. and I got to thinking about it, and we think we would do an awesome podcast. I think he wouldn't have the dedication to do it as often as we needed to, but I think I would have so much fun doing that.

Dawn and Drew mentioned that there weren't many black people doing podcasts. I think we'd be so freaking awesome. I wonder if anyone would listen?

Dawn closes the show with, "G'night inkernet", and I love it so much that this is the new way that I end conversations with T.O. on the phone. No more "bye". Now I say, "Okay. G'night inkernet." I know. Lame. But I am addicted.

I have now come to the realization that I have a very addictive personality. Once I love a certain food, I eat that every single day until I get tired of it. Once I get into exercising and losing weight, I do it to the extreme. When I love a comic book, I must have all the issues.... What a wonderful self realization... Now what? LOL

Just thought I would share that with you. I have a stinky cold, so I just drugged myself up. I took two nyquil liduidcaps, a claritin-d 24 hour, and one Aleve. In about an hour, I will pass out in a blissful dry sinus sleep.

G'night inkernet - totally stolen from Dawn !

BB in Baton Rouge

What type of gamer I am!

2005-07-27T22:35:00.000-07:00

You scored as Horror Gamer.

You like a game that keeps you on the edge of your seat. Your character might get killed, but that doesn't matter as long as the game is run well.

You'll probably like: Call of Cthulu, Kult, World of Darkness, Chill or even Pie Shop.

Horror Gamer

90%

Cyberpunk Gamer

60%

Comedy Gamer

55%

Beer & Prezels Gamer

35%

Fantasy Gamer

30%

What sort of Gamer are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Hmmm... this quiz was right on the money! Cool....

I am beginning preparations to start my first World of Darkness game. I have never GM'd before (which means I have never been the one in control of the game/story). I have an awesome idea and storyline, and I have three players very anxious and ready to go! Can't wait.

Till next time!
BB in Baton Rouge

I got cool pics!

2005-07-13T18:16:00.000-07:00

For a "better than mine" write up on the Origins con, go to BlackHatMatt's site: http://www.geocities.com/blackhatmatt/origins2005.html

He is so cool-like-dat that he let me use some of his pics so that I can show you a better view of the con than those teeeny tiiiny sucky pictures I took!

Below is a couple pics of our DREAD game, the one I told you uses the Jenga tower. This game was so intense and cool, and all of the people in the game were excellent roleplayers.

I am telling you, that Matt is such a hottie.
I mentioned his hotness factor to T.O. and T.O. said that I am stalking Matt. Hahaha!

Here's a group pic of our Dread game. The two fine men with bald heads would be my hubby and... of course... MATT! LOL

... on a side note: I MISS MY BABYGIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BB in Baton Rouge

Pimp N Ho'z Party!

2005-07-10T15:37:00.000-07:00

Last night, T.O. and I went to the Pimp N Ho'z party hosted by my friend Becky. She and her husband are mortgage brokers, and they have four kids, one on the way. They are a crazy couple, I tell you!

We had so much fun!!! I couldn't believe that I was able to convince T.O. to go with me, and that he was so blase' about getting dressed up. I would've thought I would have to perform detailed torture rituals to get him to go, but check us out!

Now tell me my man doesn't look hot as a pimp LOL!

The girls at this party went all out. It was hilarious. See below:

It was held at the French Quarter Daiquiri shop in Baton Rouge, and everyone had a lot of fun....

...INCLUDING US!

Origins Rawks My Sawks!

2005-07-10T15:01:00.000-07:00

Greetings! Okay, so I have been majorly lazy since returning from my AWESOME trip to Columbus, Ohio for the Orgins Convention. We returned on July 3rd, and it is now WAY past that (as you may guess, I can't remember the date right now), but I am finally posting.

I forgot my handy dandy digital camera when I left in the rush of excitement, so I took pics with my cell phone. For some strange reason, all the pics have this strange purple border aroound them, and therefore make my pictures seem very small, so I apologize for you not being able to see very clearly.

That first pic is yours truly standing in the main hall downstairs at the Greater Columbus Convention Center, where everyone was standing in line to get their con badges and their game tickets.

That first day, we found that when we picked up our badges, they had printed a set of tickets for T.O., but not for me! (You had to purchase tickets to each of the roleplaying games you intended on playing during the con.) So, with about a million other people who had the same problem, we were redirected to the customer service line to wait, yet again, just to be told we could pick them up the next morning at 7am.

We discovered some TREMENDOUS fast food at Fame's Diner (shameless plug) in the food court at the convention center. I mean, amazing food. Fried mushrooms to die for, fluffy french toast, yummy sausage, terrific philly cheese steak sandwiches, but I digress....

Our hotel room was nice, we stayed at the Columbus Renaissance Hotel (a Marriott division). They were holding the Vampire LARPS (live action roleplay) in our hotel, but unfortunately I didn't get to participate. Our games conflicted with the times. LARP's are pretty cool, you get to actually act out the roleplay physically - dressing up and doing yoru makeup in character and stuff, as opposed to tabletop, where you are not dressed up, but you sit around a table with abunch of people and basically do an interactive fiction storytelling, with one main person playing the role of the "storyteller", or the "gamemaster", or the "keeper", etc. depending on what system you are playing. I have always wanted to try the LARP's, but I find myself intimidated.

I did sign up for the Camarilla, a worldwide organization or people who play games created by the White Wolf Publishers. They play Vampire the Requiem, and they have branches of the Cam in nearly every major city. They gave you 20% off any books you bought at their booth if you joined the Cam at the con, and then you could go home to your local branch and meet up with the local gamers in your area. I contacted them when I returned home, and I hope to attend my first Larp in a couple of weeks. Fun fun fun!

I had myself a total blast at this convention, and I am putting aside my dreams of going to Jamaica on vacation next year. Instead, we are definitely hitting GENCON in California instead! That is a huge gaming con, and I can NOT WAIT.

We played a Buffy the Vampire game, a Vampire the Requiem game, a Dread game, and a couple of Call of Cthulhu games. This was my first time playing any rolelaying games, ever, even though T.O. is always talking about them with me and I have tons of the books. I was the event winner in 3 out of the 5 games we played! The Buffy gamemaster told me I played the best Willow he had ever seen! I won free dice sets, pewter miniatures, and a bunch of coupons with like, $5.00 off anything I bought at their partticular booths. I have never had so much fun... it was such a cool experience. Geeking out has never been so great.
That's a pic of some guys playing Dungeons and Dragons, I think.

And I also spent a ton of money in the Dealers Room. Oh Boy!!! I bought a bunch of gaming stuff, and a couple of volumes of the collected Dork Tower comicstrip series (www.dorktower.com), and a buttload of stuff from the bellydancer booth. Wow, I got some gorgeous pieces from that booth, I tell ya. A beautiful poncho with detailed beads and tassles, a jingly leopard print gold coin belt/wrap, and a bunch of huge heavy jewelry, all gypsy inspired. AND LET'S NOT FORGET THE DICE!

If you can't tell, that is a picture of the dice booth... rows and rows of great dice choices. In roleplaying games, you don't just use the standard square six sided dice that people are accustomed to seeing. You use 4 sided dice, eight, ten, twelve, etc. dice! And they come in very pretty colors and designs. They even have bone dice, but that was a little rich for my blood.

T.O. and I also met a great guy named Matt McFarland (www.blackhatmatt.com). He writes a lot of the amazing White Wolf stuff that I have been so into for so long. I admire his work, and he actually played in our Dread game with us. By the way, that is a great game. It uses the Jenga tower, and it is really fun. Anyway, Matt was an amazing player, and we talked to him about games, writing, his future plans to go to school to be a speech therapist, our views on racism, his newborn daughter, and how much he loves his wife, for about an hour or two after the game (which ended at about 12am!). He is a great guy, and I can't wait to meet up with him again at the next con. (And he's bald with a goattee, so you know I thought he was fine...!)

We also played an impromptu game of Call of Cthulhu which was run by a very cool gamer chick named Michelle, after meeting her when she hosted the test run of the board game Arkham Horror for us. That game was very fun, and we drank a big jug of ale during it, so that is always cool. It was about 2 or 3am when we got home to the hotel room that night.

I will definitely be attending more gaming cons in the future. WHERE HAVE RPGS BEEN ALL MY LIFE?

BB in Baton Rouge

Been Awhile...

2005-06-26T21:30:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago I took my babygirl to her grandma's for the summer in Las Vegas. My mom will be taking care of her during the week, and my ex-husband and his new family will pick her up on weekends.

Babygirl has been spending her summers in Las Vegas for the past three or four years. This will be the first since my father has passed away.

I love bringing babygirl to see my family in Vegas each summer, because I believe it brings her "back to her roots", if you will. I've been dismayed that the suburb we live in boasts mostly either white or black families. Babygirl doesn't have must diversity in her immediate surroundings here in Louisiana. Growing up, she was surrounded by different cultures and heritages - being in Las Vegas, your neighbors are hispanic, black, white, asian, mixed heritages. I don't want her to ever forget that although she looks like a little black girl, Taiwanese blood still coarses through her little veins.

When she "goes home", she eats authentic Chinese dishes. She hears my mother speaking Taiwanese. She sees my mother's Chinese movies, and she listens to my mother's Chinese songs playing on her stereo as she works in the house. Babygirl goes to my brother's house and plays with her cousin, who is an eleven year old boy who is mixed with Taiwanese and white. They are cousins, regardless of what other people may think when they see them together.

A huge benefit I have always possessed from being raised in my unusual family is that I feel comfortable around anyone I meet. I can relate and speak to anyone, regardless of race, ethnicity, heritage, culture, age, sex, or whatever. I have gained the power to adapt to any situation, and I can only pray that I am able to pass that same talent on to my daughter.

Of course, I miss babygirl deeply when she is gone. I tend to go into her room and stare at her bed, all made up and unslept in. I get teary eyed thinking of her, and I miss the way she makes me laugh everyday. But I know that these summer months are precious. They will be a time that she cherishes when she grows up and looks back to this time in her life. The memories she creates with my mother will be timeless, and she will never forget them.

My mom says that babygirl chases away her loneliness when she is there. I love that babygirl can do that for her. On June 23rd, 2005, it made one full year since the day my father suffered from a fatal subdural hematoma (bleeding within the brain). I can't believe that it has been a full year. It doesn't feel right, that I have been without my father for a year. It doesn't seem possible that I could survive that long of a time without him here to guide me and to counsel me.

My daddy was the core of who I am today. He still is. It is because of his teachings, along with my mothers, that I can be the type of mother that I am to my own daughter. I can't even describe the ache inside of me when I think of my daddy. Fifty seven was much much too young for him to go. He still had a lot to do, a lot to see, a lot to say. If only I knew for sure what happens to those we love when they leave us... I believe in the Bible and Jesus. I believe in Heaven and in the Word of God. It's the details... it's the details I can't seem to get straight in my head.

Where did my Daddy go when he died? Is he in Heaven now? Is he dancing with the angels? Is he watching over me? How much does he see? Am I the only one who has these strange thoughts? Okay... this is what I find myself thinking:

I hope that my daddy watches over me each day and that he is there to hear me when I speak to him. But at the same time.... Does he watch over me ALL the TIME? Do you know what I'm saying? What a strange thought.... When I shower? When I am naked? When I am with my husband? How does he know when to look and when not to look? LOL that looks so funny, written out like that, but I wonder am I the only one that has ever thought of that?? Surely not.

On a lighter note, my geek-vention is coming up soon!!! WOOOO HOOO!!! I will be traveling to Columbus, Ohio with my sweetheart to go to the Origins Gaming Convention...

Man, I can't even tell you how excited I am about that. We'll be there for about 4 nights and 5 days!!! That is so awesome. I will take some pics for you while I am there.

Time for bed. I have work early in the morning!

BB in Baton Rouge

Hair here, a hair there, everywhere a hair hair!

2005-05-31T23:09:00.000-07:00

My hair used to be a darker caramel color on the bottom and bright platinum blonde on top with caramel chunks breaking up the blonde.

Now, my hair is dark brown all over, darker in the back, and with just a few lighter brown streaks in the front to highlight.

Also, I didn't have bangs before, and now I have side-swept bangs. I don't know if these pictures will show it good enough, but here is the before and after:

You be the judge!

BB in Baton Rouge

BB!!!! ... you got some Splaynin' to DO!

2005-05-29T20:15:00.000-07:00

Boy it has been a long time...

You know how when you first buy a journal or a diary, you're like, all excited about how the crisp pages crinkle softly when you turn them, and it's cool how your gel pen looks when you write in it, so you write EVERYDAY? Then the newness wears off and you start writing every week, and then it's 2005 and you dust your journal off to find the last entry was 1982?

Wellll.... I'm just sayin'.

So anyway... babygirl got some awards for gymnastics at the end of the school year:

She got gold medals for completing both Developmental Gymnastics and Intermediate Tumbling this session.

Right now she is in Summer Camp, and she is having a ball.

Here is a copy of a letter I wrote to her gym, the same place where she does her classes and also goes to summercamp:

Hi Ms. XXXXXX and Staff,

I wanted to take a moment to write and tell you how
extremely happy I am regarding XXX's time spent at summer camp this year. She will only be attending for three weeks, due to her annual summer vacation in Las Vegas with her grandmother and other family, but I must say that I am thoroughly thrilled with the experience she has received in just the few short days she has attended thusfar.

XXX comes home excited and beaming, telling us about all of the fun things she has done - whether it be rehearsing for a SpongeBob play where she is playing the role of Mr. Crabs, eating snowcones, jumping in the inflatables, swimming in the pool, or playing on the waterslide and the slip 'n'slide. She tells me everyday how much she enjoys summercamp, and this is the only reason I am allowing her to attend for the three weeks that she is staying here - normally she goes to Vegas almost right away once school lets out.

Also, one day XXX told me that she was climbing onto one of the toys and another child told her, "You can not come up here - you're black!" She told me that she was so hurt and she started crying. However, she also told me that the teacher in charge that day, Ms. XXXXX, handled it right away, telling the other little girl that the comment was "ugly" and that she would have to sit out of activities for the day. She went on to tell the child that XXX was just like her, a little girl, just a different skin color, and that she shouldn't say those things to hurt other people's feelings. This moment was monumental for XXX. If the instructor hadn't addressed this issue, or had just skimmed over it and let it go, XXX's self esteem would have suffered, and her concept of who she was would have been effected for who knows how long afterward. I was extremely impressed by this response, and so was XXX. She told me that the little girl shouldn't say those things, and she said, "Even the teacher said she was wrong, mommy!" I can't tell you what this means to me.

Please give my sincere thanks to Ms. XXXXX, and tell her that this small moment in her life has made a huge impact on the life of a little girl who faces being the "different" face often - she has made a difference that will last a lifetime.

Thanks again to everyone who shows such kindness and care not only during the school year and during rec classes, but also during the summer months. Thank you for providing an immeasurable service to all of us as parents. You are a treasure.

Regards,
XXX XXXXXX

So, the letter says everything. I was so hurt when my baby told me that this happened to her at camp. It just cuts your heart out when you hear that your child is being effected by such ignorance. Being that our family is so racially diverse, coming out here to Louisiana and experiencing blatant racial prejudice's was a new thing for babygirl. Not saying that all places don't have racism. But before we moved out here, my daughter had been sheltered by her upbringing in our "rainbow coalition" family... sigh... oh well, they dealt with it accordingly. I appreciated it.

'Till tomorrow -

BB in Baton Rouge

Communication Elation!

2005-05-18T23:50:00.000-07:00

Finally.

We finally came together and talked about how we were feeling. We yelled a little, cried a little, revealed a little, and accused a little. But we finally TALKED.

That was what was missing from the whole situation. We had never talked about what was going on. Both of us had pent up anger and frustrations (some not having anything to do with eachother, but outside stressors, too), and we were holding it in and ultimately taking it out on eachother.

We talked for about three hours tonight. Babygirl even got involved and we all spoke to eachother about what was going on.

Life is much better now. :)

I really do love my honey. He tries so hard to provide for us and protect us and make sure we are okay. He stresses himself out with all the things he does for the both of us. He knows how emotional I get, so he keeps his feelings at bay to protect mine, but I told him that doesn't help either of us. He has to be my partner, and I his. We need to be able to talk to one another. My sweetheart is so very loving and wonderful, but we need to definitely work on communicating better, and working together more efficiently.

So I will start posting pics again tomorrow. I am exhausted... but elated! Finally, I can sleep comfortably again, in my own nice big ole bed, with my nice, big ole husband. ;)

Till tomorrow....

BB in Baton Rouge

Damn it.

2005-05-18T17:23:00.000-07:00

Everyone thinks I should forgive T.O. for his actions on Saturday upon his return.

When he knew I was angry, his answer was that he would celebrate a late Mother's Day with me and babygirl at the Melting Pot, a wonderful fondue restaurant.

I thought it was a nice gesture, and although I was still angry, I accepted this token of apology.

Today, we had to purchase airline tickets (THAT WE HAVE KNOWN ABOUT FOR MONTHS NOW) - two tickets for us to go to the gaming convention in Columbus, OH at the end of June, and the tickets to bring babygirl out to Las Vegas to visit my mother and my ex-husband this summer. Now that we purchased the tickets, his excuse is, "You know that with all of this money going towards the tickets, we can't afford to go to the Melting Pot."

We knew we were purchasing these tickets a LONG time ago. Don't sit here and offer me something just to try and get over the hump of me being angry, and then when you think things are okay, all bets are off?! It's not even about the Melting Pot anymore (I couldn't eat there now even if I wanted to, I feel sick to my stomache).

Damnit.... is he purposefully trying to piss me off, or what? I still haven't been able to get over being angry about this past weekend, but he doesn't care. He thinks water just rolls off a ducks back and these things don't pile up and accumulate to more and more and more inside of a person.

I am trying so hard not to grow resentful and not to stay angry, but he is not making that easy for me to do. I can literally feel my blood pressure rising, and I am crying more often lately. I am NOT supposed to be getting stressed right now, they told me that stress will raise my blood pressure AND effect my blood sugar levels ... this is the last thing I need.

God, I am making such an effort to eat right, to be more active, to watch the way I think about food and nutrition... I want to be healthier, I want to be more conscientious of myself and my actions, and it is so hard to stay in control of all of that when my emotions feel like they are on a roller coaster.

I am so angry right now I feel like a tea kettle about to boil over. I can feel the pressure building inside me, and I don't trust myself to even talk to anyone right now. I hate feeling this way.

BB in Baton Rouge

...Could've Stayed His Ass in Europe.

2005-05-15T18:51:00.000-07:00

So, in honor of T.O.'s return, yesterday I wore myself out.

I spent all morning cleaning the house from top to bottom, swiffering, vacuuming, wiping, and shining everything I could get my hands on. I had a pile of laundry to do about as high as my chin, and I did all of it and folded it and put it away. I cleaned each room meticulously, and babygirl helped me too. I tried to make our bed to his idea of perfection, and I took all of the trash out.

Not ONLY did I clean the house like a maniac, I cleaned out my Trailblazer (which is something he is always griping about). This took another hour.

NOT ONLY did I clean the house and my Trailblazer, BUT I went to WalMart and bought (with my own money that I have been saving up with this surprise in mind) $100.00 worth of plants/flowers to embellish our garden. T.O. is always working outside in our yard and is always watering and mowing and weedeating, etc. So, I knew it would please him to do some good ole yardwork while he was gone. I bought the plants and brought them home, and babygirl and I both worked in the yard ALL DAY LONG, planting all of the flowers throughout our landscaping, pulling grass and weeds along the way. I mean it, it took all damn day. I felt like I was suffering from heat stroke by the time we were done (the diabetes medicine I take says not to spend prolonged time in the sun, but...), however the end result made it SOOO worth all the hard work. I was sweating like a pig... Tomorrow I will show you some pictures of the result of our toil.

Needless to say, by the time we were ready to go to pick him up, I was excited as all get out. I put on my cutest black and pink skirt, did myself up all purty-like, and curled my hair (okay, doesn't sound like much, but YOU try curling my hair!).

Babygirl talked the whole ride to the airport about how thrilled she was that daddy was coming home. She told me how much she missed him, and when I asked her, "But what about when he makes you clean your room and stuff?", she answered, "Daddy just does that because he loves us and wants us to live in a nice house, Mommy. I miss him because he makes me laugh!"

I was so excited, and I was so happy because my baby truly missed him as much as I did. We were full of anticipation when we drove to the airport to pick up my love.

By the way...

Friday I went to Walmart for some groceries. I think that when I was putting the bags into my trunk, our debit card may have slipped out of my hands. To make a long story short, I think I lost it. I didn't realize this until Friday night when I was going to get something to eat for us and realized it wasn't where I usually kept it. As soon as I realized this, I emailed T.O. to tell him, and to let him know I would search the Trailblazer first thing Saturday morning to see if it was there, and then I would call to cancel the card.

There was no one at the 1-800 number on weekends to report the card being lost, so I would have to wait until Monday.

SOOOO ANYWAYS, we are full of eager anticipation while we drive to the airport, arguing with eachother about who gets to kiss daddy first when we see him.

We get to the airport, and I jump out of the car to run and kiss him. Before I can get to him, he grimaces, "DID YOU FIND THAT CARD?"

With the wind knocked from my sails, I shook my head.

"DID YOU CANCEL IT?"

"No, there was no one there on a Saturday. I have to wait until Monday."

"Someone is going to fuck us up. Their going to take all of our money." He growled at me.

I turned on my heel, tail between my legs, and got back in the drivers side. Without another word, we returned home. Silent tears trailed down my face, as I attempted to focus on the road while trying not to give him the satisfaction of hearing me sniffle.

As soon as we got home, I headed to the bathroom to bawl. I came back out to the living room once I was done and began watching Hotel Rowanda. Babygirl sat at the table, eating her dinner.

He got on the phone to call the credit card company (as if I didn't just tell him that they told me they could do nothing until Monday). "Turn that TV down!" He yelled at me.

Okay. You do NOT yell at me. Let alone in front of my daughter and after I have spend all DAMN DAY getting this house ready for you to come home. I didn't turn it down.

"TURN THAT SHIT DOWN!" He bellowed. I stared at him, turned the the TV up as loud as possible, threw the remote on the ceramic tile and stormed into the room, slamming the door as hard as humanly possible. When he got off the phone he tried the door to find it locked and tried for a half hour to unlock it with the door key.

Who the hell does he think he is, yelling at me - better yet - CUSSING at me in front of my daughter? He finally made it into the room and told me he was sorry he got mad at me.

You know what? Screw you. You think you can treat me that way and then fix it with "sorry"?!? I don't know, maybe he was doing more than just working while he was in Europe. Why else would he be such an asshole when he got back, when all we could think about was how to make him happy on his return?!

THEN he proceeded to clean the house from top to bottom. AS IF I HADN'T JUST DONE THAT ALL FREAKING DAY! AS IF I HAVEN'T BEEN WORKING MY BUTT OFF TO GET IT PERFECT FOR HIM. DId he mention anything about the garden? No. Did he mention anything about our hard work in the house? No. Did he mention anything about the Trailblazer? No.

And after all she could talk about was missing him and loving him, he did nothing but yell at babygirl all night to clean her closet, clean her room, clean around her dollhouse, turn her TV off ... She came out into the living room and whispered for me to forget what she said earlier. I don't blame her. Now THAT really pisses me off.

I slept with babygirl in her bed.

This morning, we woke up early and without a word to T.O., headed to New Orleans to go to the Children's Museum. We spent all day together, trying to forget about the grouch who waited at home. We got home about seven hours later. He still hasn't said anything to me, and I don't mind a bit. It makes me angry to look at him, knowing how happy we were he was coming home.

... Could've stayed his ass in Europe, if you ask me.

BB in Baton Rouge

Bored Bored Bored Bored Bored... Did I mention I was BORED?!?!?!

2005-05-13T21:13:00.000-07:00

T.O. comes back from out of the country tomorrow night. I can not wait. In the meantime, I have been so bored I am going insane. I NEED SOME INTELLIGENT INTERACTION! Arrrrggghhhh there is just so much you can talk about with a seven year old!

I miss him. I truly miss him.

As a VERY smart and mature fifteen year old once told me, "You never realize how much you love someone until they are gone."

Well, I am finding out now. I miss him.

Did I mention I miss him?

I will write another day - this is all I have to offer right now.

... sigh ....

BB in Baton Rouge

Can't Wait For The Geek-Vention!

2005-05-09T22:55:00.000-07:00

I am now a self-proclaimed geek girl. Never thought I would admit it, but it is true. My sweetheart has transformed me.

When he met me, I was driving a little souped up Hyundai Elantra, chromed out, dropped low to the flo', massive exhaust pipes, and you could hear me coming from a mile away with my exhaust and my bass bumpin'.

Well.

At the end of June, my beloved and I shall be trekking out to Ohio for the Gaming Con. Yes, a convention for roleplayers and the like.

I am all in a tizzy about signing up for some killer games and I can't wait to see what White Wolf and Eden Studio's has planned. My game book collection has grown tremendously in the four years I have been madly in love with my UBERGEEK beau.

I also collect comic books...

... and am very much into miniature painting.

I can't help it... I have been officially geekified!!!! And proud of it, too!

That's what makes a well rounded person... someone who can keep their mind open to new experiences and new interests without prejudging it just because they have never been properly exposed to it.

BB in Baton Rouge

P.S. I am a sucker for Japanese Anime, also... :P

This House Is Haunted...

2005-05-09T22:22:00.000-07:00

So... weird things happen in my house everyday.

For instance, I take all my jewelry off at the end of the day and set it on the kitchen counter. The next morning, I wake up and my jewelry has reappeared in my jewlery box!

Okay, if that is not enough... my seven year old daughter goes to school and then takes cheerleading and gymnastics classes afterschool. She gets so dirty and sweaty, then she takes a bath when she gets home. Dirt and grime coats the bathtub with a ring of filth. Come morning, the tub is sparkling clean!

When we sleep at night, we all toss and turn and shuffle the bed clothes around. When we go to bed the next night, we have to turn the bedclothes down because THEY HAVE BEEN RE-MADE!

I go to work in the morning, and when I come home, the wood furniture shines as if just polished.

I toss my dirty clothes on top of the dryer in the laundry room, and a day later, it is in the clean clothes hamper, fully washed and smelling clean!

It is the strangest phenomena I have ever witnessed in my 26 years. When I spoke to my husband about it he shakes his head... I think he is overwhelmed by our poltergeist, too.

Funniest thing about it all...

Since my husband left to go out of the country on Sunday, the hauntings have stopped.

My jewelry stays where I left it, my bed stays unmade until I make it, the tub stays dirty until I clean it...

Strangest thing, I tell you... strangest thing....

BB in Baton Rouge

His Spirit Stays With Me Always.

2005-05-06T18:33:00.000-07:00

I thought about my daddy while I was driving today in the car. They were doing a tribute to the 70's on the radio station and they were talking about old times with their father's and all this nostalgic stuff and I got all choked up.

My daddy was the ultimate father. He was the most incredible man who ever walked this planet. Along with my mom, he taught me everything I know. He showed me by example how to be an upstanding member of society. That man was married to my mommy for 26 years before he passed away last June. He over came the world's prejudice and married a Chinese woman who had two Chinese teenagers, and brought them from Taiwan to the United States to live a better life. My daddy was a family man to the fullest.

My father never stayed out drinking or ran with the boys. His ideal night of fun would be staying at home, watching a few movies we had rented from Blockbuster, eating Mom's home cooking, and playing games on his computer. My daddy was all about keeping his family happy. He phoned his mom and dad often and talked with them, laughing heartily all the while.

I just think about the fun times I had with my daddy and all the times he made me laugh. If I did something bad to get a spanking from Mom, there was always my dad to make me smile through the tears. He'd come in my room, where I was curled up in the fetal position and talk me down from my nervous breakdown.

I love my father. And his spirit stays with me always.

BB in Baton Rouge

The LawnMower Man Is After Me!!!

2005-05-06T18:28:00.000-07:00

So, my honey is leaving Sunday morning, and what is he doing tonight to prepare for his long trip? Is he relaxing? Is he resting? Is he meditating?

Nope. This is what my hard-working honey is doing right now:

Yep. T.O. is outside MOWING THE LAWN!

He came home early this afternoon and cleaned the house until it was so spotless that it shined (Literally! I'm wearing sunglasses on my face! Really!) And now, he is outside...

What a dreamboat I have. I am, quite possibly, the luckiest woman on earth.

Till Later!

BB in Baton Rouge

My Bilingualism... Bilingualism? Is that a word?

2005-05-05T21:47:00.000-07:00

... and what REALLY pisses me off is this...

2005-05-05T21:36:00.000-07:00

Why don't doctors do routine diabetes checks? I mean, the glucose check is one of the standard tests taken in a routine physical, but how many of us will ACTUALLY walk in a doctor's office for no reason at all and say, "Hey, just check me out." Not many.

We go in for headaches, for the flu, for strange rashes and boils on our butts, you know... the norm. The doc checks us out, then they send us on our way.

At that point why doesn't the doctor ever say the words, "Hey, Susie, I notice that you have a family history of diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart disease. I also see that you are African American. Right now your weight is considered overweight for your height. That's three huge risk factors for diabetes. Even though you didn't come in today for a check up, I would like to go ahead and schedule your next appointment for next week, and during that appointment we need to test your fasting glucose just to be on the safe side as a preventative measure. What's good for you? Monday? Tuesday?"

This doesn't happen. I went to a local doctor for over a year and was never given a diabetes test. The ONLY reason I now know I have diabetes was because after my father died, I was scared stiff and requested the test from my current doctor.

I think it is sad. I went to the diabetes classes this week (from 6-8:30pm, which is why I haven't had the time to write...) and out of all of these newly diagnosed patients, I was the youngest one, probably by about 15-20 years. That means that had my father not died so early and scare me into action, I probably would have continued to eat and live the way I was and destroy myself for another 20 years. (If I didn't have a heart attack, kidney failure, or other complications by then!)

That truly fries my bacon. I AM SO PISSED ABOUT THAT. Why aren't doctors required to recommend a physical to people with two or more risk factors? Think of how many lives may be saved that way!

On my next visit to my doctor, I will be asking him about that. Maybe I can suggest that he do that for his patients, if he isn't already. Who knows, it may make a difference in just one person's life.

My husband is leaving the country soon... I am so sad. I will miss him greatly. Who will I talk to and tell all of my problems to every day??? My T.O. is truly my best friend, confidante, and soulmate. Without him around, my sense of security is shot to hell. It makes me nervous when he isn't here.

My babygirl and I will have eachother while he is gone and I will try to hang with her a little bit to make up for him not being here. Life just won't be the same without him. I hope he comes back soon.

I have got to get focused and start taking more pictures to post... I have been slacking!

Till Then!

BB in Baton Rouge

Frequent Urination Never Seemed So Scary!

2005-05-02T21:39:00.000-07:00

Well, about two months ago I started having to pee alot.

My first thought was that I was pregnant. I told T.O. that I thought we may be preggers, and he seemed... lukewarmly excited? The last time I was pregnant, I had to pee constantly and when I would sit too long on the toilet, my feet would always fall asleep and get all tingly. It started again, so naturally, that is what I thought about - BABY TIME!

I took two home pregnancy tests and discovered that wasn't it. Now I got concerned. My daddy died in June 2004 of heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes complications. My next thought was .. okay, I need to get tested for sure. I went to my doctor (THE BEST DOCTOR IN THE WORLD, trust me - check him out at www.thahiphopdoc.com) and asked for a full work up including the diabetes test. Even though I suspected it, it still struck me so hard to have the news confirmed. When the nurse called me and laid it on me, I started bawling over the phone... I know I threw her off.

The doc and I have been trying to get this thing on track. I am taking medicine, eating much healthier, and working exercise into my schedule three times a week.

Today was my first day of a three day educational class on diabetic care/treatment. It was very informative and interesting. I am so glad that I found out early enough to get on the road to recovery quickly. I am young enough that I can get this thing under control. Doc and I are working closely to get it taken care of.

Other than that, work was pretty laid back today. I submitted a deal or two, and I think I will be looking at a pretty hefty commission check next month! I won't count my chickens before they hatch, but a girl can always hope!

Till Tomorrow,
BB in Baton Rouge

Chinese Buffets Rule. Totally.

2005-05-01T18:48:00.000-07:00

Today my husband, my daughter, and I went to the biggest and best Chinese buffet in Baton Rouge:

I love the selection they have in there. The food is incredible, and it's super huge!!!

Afterwards, I took babygirl to get her hair braided by my friends daughter. My friends daughter is gorgeous! She is only 15 years old, but that girl has got it goin' on already! She did babygirls hair, and I love it.

It took five hours, and she only asked for twenty dollars. She was the sweetest little thing ever. You can tell my friend has raised her right. And you can't tell babygirl anything right now, she thinks she is ALL THAT!

I wish I knew how to do those braids. It would be so much easier to do her hair everyday, and I would be able to do many other styles than what I normally do.

As soon as I got home, my husband started in with all the OCD stuff. "Don't make a mess, don't mess that up, did you wash your hands, blah blah blah blah blah." That is such a beating when you have just walked in the door and already the nagging starts. He gets mad when I ignore him and don't answer him, but good grief, I can't entertain all of that. All it does is put me in a bad mood.

So lately we have been talking about what we are giving our mothers for Mother Day. I know that T.O. will not be buying me anything for Mothers Day. I really get very sad when he doesn't do anything fro Mothers Day, because he acts as babygirl's father in every sense, and when the kids are still so small, fathers usually buy something nice for their wives and do it in the childrens names. He never does that. It's kind of a bummer when everyone else in your office gets flowers and candy and romantic dinners and I am the only one who will not be receiving any love that day.

He will be going out of the country on Mothers Day, so I know for sure he won't be thinking of me.

... sigh ...

BB in Baton Rouge

A Bunny, A Stick of Cotton Candy, and a Blues Benefit Walk Into A Bar...

2005-04-30T23:40:00.000-07:00

Okay, I am back from my very full Saturday.

First, my sweet babygirl and I went to my job's employee appreciation day/crawfish boil. The first thing babygirl did is to find the cotton candy girl and get some first rate cotton candy.

As a result of her cotton candy gluttony, her teeth, lips, and tongue were a guilty shade of blue.

We then went about grubbing on the bot dogs, hamburgers, and of course... those messy lil' buggers, crawfish!!!

After we ate, I saw a few people from my team in the hallway:

The company gave the kids a visor to paint and decorate, and babygirl decorated hers next.

They had a 12' waterslide set up in the grass, and my daughter could think of nothing else. Before I knew it, she had stripped off her skirt and shirts and was diving with the best of them!

She played on the slide for about an hour, and then the dark clouds came rolling in. After two or three drops hit me in the forehead, I rounded the girl up and got her back into dry clothing.

I took her to the second floor and showed her my cubicle and desk and let her play at my keyboard for a bit. She was thrilled that I had my desk pretty much wallpapered with her pictures.

We headed to the face painting area. The clown's name was Panzy P, I think. Babygirl wanted to be a rabbit.

She was soooo cute:

After she got her face painted, we had to leave and hurry home because my friends benefit concert started at 5pm. We left the crawfish boil at about 6pm. I brought her home, got dressed for the concert, and headed out on my own. T.O. didn't want to come, so I didn't push it. You pick your battles, ya know?

I got there, and the atmosphere was very nice. It was smack dab in the middle of the HOOD, but the club was nice inside. The bands were great. I took the pictures, but they didn't come out so good with it being so dark:

I went there with my very close friend and her husband:

Here is a pic of me and my friend together:

It was a wonderful night, and I am so happy that the turnout was good, because my other friend will get the money she needs to get back on her feet, after her house burned down a couple of months ago.

It was an eventful day today. Tomorrow I am getting babygirls hair braided and we will be traveling to T.O.'s grandmothers house to visit her.

'Til Then!
BB in Baton Rouge

Over My Dead Body!

2005-04-30T09:35:00.000-07:00

I forgot to mention that this morning, I had a dream (nightmare?) that the day before T.O. flew off to Europe on business, he shaved his damn head. Then he met some sexy french woman

(with an annoyingly sexy accent), and he ran off with her, never to return again.

So I told T.O. today that if he shaves his head between now and when he returns from Europe, I will be SEVERLY pissed. And he DOESN'T want me to be pissed when he goes away, because I can NOT guarantee the state of his home when he comes home. (Remember, we're talking about MONK-like behavior here. Does anyone else think that is the ultimate best show on television but me? MONK rules, and Tony Shaloub is soooo sexy.

Sigh...)

That hit him hard. He is afraid I will ransack the house while he is gone. If he shaves his head before he comes back from Brussells, his worst fears will come true.

BB in Baton Rouge

ONWARD! To the Crawfish Boil!!!

2005-04-30T09:13:00.000-07:00

Well, it's 11:00AM on Saturday morning. At 3:00PM my company is throwing a crawfish boil at the office. We have a smokers courtyard and a huge area in front of the building. They will be boiling crawfish, grilling hotdogs and burgers, and having a dessert baking contest. There is supposed to be a clown there for the kids who will paint their faces and make them balloon animals. Also, there will be a 12' waterslide for the kiddies to have fun on.

I told my babygirl she will have to wear a swimsuit, but I didn't tell her where we are going. She is dying to know.

"Mommy, please tell me?" She whines.

"Nope."

"Someone's swimming pool party?"

"Nope."

"Aw.... are we going to Blue Bayou?" (that's the local waterpark, BTW).

"Nope."

"Someone's birthday party?" She guesses.

... and so on and so on.

I will bring my camera and take some pictures while I am there. Maybe you will get to see pictures of my boss and fellow co-workers. It promises to be an enjoyable afternoon.

I have to get back somewhat early, however, because tonight I am going to a charity concert. I have a friend who's house burned to the ground about a month or so ago, and she has been having a hard time of it. She is the lead singer of a band, and her band, along with a few others, will be throwing this event to raise money for her. That starts at 5pm.

Tomorrow, I will be going to that same friends apartment to get my babygirl's hair braided. I AM SO TIRED OF HAVING TO COMB THAT GIRLS HAIR... whew.... When her hair is braided I don't have to worry about it for awhile. I know... lazy... but you should see how cute she is with it braided! Oh wait... I have a picture... let's see if I can find it.

Well you can't really see it, but see the beads and such? How adorable is that?! She'll get it rebraided right before she leaves for Vegas in the summer to visit my mom and her real dad&family. It makes it easier on them while she is there.

Ok, I will write later once we've returned from the crawfish boil! Maybe I can take some pictures at the concert, too!

Till then!

BB in Baton Rouge

Drowning in Grape Juice...

2005-04-28T18:45:00.000-07:00

"Nay!"

"Yeah, mom... " I sigh. She always yells like the receiver is not right up against my head. I think my mother thinks I hold the receiver at arms length in front of me when we speak. Occasionally, I do. Just to see if I can still hear her. I can. God love 'er.

"I know you. You want to send me something so expensive. I was thinking I want to call you to tell you don't send me nothing expensive. Maybe just send me some bags of those doughnuts we had when I came to visit you!" Her Chinese accent is strong, and so is her love for beignets, the ultimate New Orleans pastry. It's a delicious donut/fried bread with white powdered sugar graciously coating each light fluffy piece.

She wants me to send her more of the mix. I bought her some while she was down here visiting me, and since she has returned to Las Vegas, my brother and she have been inhaling them!!

"Maybe four or five more..." She smiles over the phone anticipatingly.

"... yeah, Ma. No problem!" I exclaim. She thinks the mix is expensive. It's $6.00.

Mother's Day dilemna SOLVED! Now to decide what to buy T.O.'s mom and grandmother. And I think this year I am going to buy my sister and sister in law something, too. I love doing things like that, that are unexpected, ya know? It's more fun when they don't see it coming.

Talked to my exhusband today. Appears that he has lost his front desk manager job in Las Vegas. Bummer. His wife is working again, though, so they should be okay. I hope everything goes well with them. I wish them only the best. His natural ability to laugh at tough situations was one thing that drew me to him in the beginning (too bad that I had to stop laughing once our tough situations got one too many!), and today's conversation was no different. We have never really had a hard time laughing together. I hope they get back on their feet quickly. The kids deserve the best, ya know?

So, I was supposed to go to the gym for an hour or so this evening (I usually go on Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays - I do about 30mins on the treadmill, 20 mins on the circuit weight machines, and another 20 mins on the stationary bike), but I accidentally left my gym bag at home this morning! ARGH! I come home early to find all the contents of the refrigerator in my kitchen sink.

Apparently, the grape juice I bought yesterday (and innocently laid on it's side in the fridge) happened to ... let's say... LEAK . All over.

My sweet, and sometimes unbearingly TIDY, husband took this farrrr better than I would have imagined. He sighed and said, "Well, these things happen I guess."

Okay, did you hear what I said?

This from the man who goes into cardiac arrest if someone DARES to touch the coffee table with their bare hands... gasp! I gave him many cool points for keeping his cool with this small disaster. He's getting better at this, I tell ya!

Anyway, my babygirl pulled that darn tooth out at school today!!! YAY!

Last night I fell asleep in her bed :

... instead of MY BED:

And therefore I didn't have a very restful sleep, and am soooo incredibly tired tonight. I'm going to check my babygirl's homework and read her a story and head straight to bed!

Till tomorrow!

BB in Baton Rouge

To Shave, or Not To Shave... That is the question!

2005-04-27T21:36:00.000-07:00

So, you tell me. Isn't my honey much sexier sans hair? I think the evidence speaks for itself.

My babygirl is crying because she has a loose tooth and it won't come out, so it is hurting her. She usually pulls her teeth out, no problem. Tonight is another story.

Here is the offending tooth:

Here it is again:

Is it wrong for your daughter to be in pain and you see her trauma as an awesome photo opportunity for your blog? Just when has it gone too damn far? LOL

Anyway... so the other weekend I went to a play at the Baton Rouge Little Theatre - Six Degrees of Separation, the movie that Will Smith starred in. The star of this play was a gentleman by the name of Muhammed Ayers. He is attractive in a very Taye Digg-ish type of a way. I thought his performance was incredible, and I actually had to wipe a tear from my eye at the end! I gave that play five HUGE stars... And if anyone local has a chance to ever see Muhammed Ayers in ANYTHING, you do it. He is amazing. I swear I will be going to more productions this year. I love acting and I love the theatre. There's nothing like the way you feel after watching a good play/musical. I feel culturally enriched.

Today was another stressful day at work. I will be happy when the end of month crunch is completely over with. It has been so ridiculous lately. But more stress converts to more money... so bring it on buddy!

Babygirl is wanting to go to sleep now... cried herself tired, I suppose. ;) I will read her a bedtime story and see if that makes her feel better.

G'night till tomorrow!!!

BB in Baton Rouge

Forced Pedicures and Fear Factor Nights...

2005-04-26T21:20:00.000-07:00

Today was a horribly stressful day in the mortgage world. It's the end of the month, which - anyone who is in this business knows - is the most hectic time for us. We're trying to meet quota's and get loans shut down, and it is driving me crazy. I mean, how many things can go wrong in a mortgage loan anyway? I found out exactly how many today, trust me!!

ANYWAY, I was going to stay late (I'm supposed to get off at 5:30PM, but if I stay late, I usually don't get home until after 8pm), but my boss made me go with her to the nail salon. She said we needed to go get pedicures. ;)

My boss is pretty cool. She is three months pregnant right now, and her hormones haven't got her acting crazy yet. Not like me, when I'm pregnant, the whole world better watch out!

So at the nail salon, we watched American Idol on the big screen in the lobby. I really like Bo Bice. He is getting finer and finer as time goes by!!! He's down to earth and soooo sexy.

Afterwards, I went and bought some tofu, asparagus, spinach and mushrooms from the grocery store.

My daughter ate leftover spaghetti I cooked from last night (she loooves when I cook spaghetti). I ate one pack of tofu, steamed and cooked with soy sauce and green onions, and also one pack of baby spinach, steamed and sauteed with the mushrooms and garlic. T.O. ate two quarter pounders and two boxes of medium fries from McDonalds. What is wrong with this picture!? And when we went to the doctor the other day, his 6 foot 219 lb ass had better readings than me! He eats ten times worse than I do!!! Arrrgghhh!!!!

My babygirl and I watched the first brand new nonrerun episode of Fear Factor in a looong time! She loves watching Fear Factor. She's only seven, but she loves it. She laughed when they had to eat "Fear Factor Sushi" ... sushi filled with live cockroaches, squid guts, and spiders.

She cracks up everytime! When she eats her spaghetti she pretends that it is live worms. What? Why are you frowning at the screen like that??

Now I am writing this and looking at the clock to see that it is past 11:15pm, and she is still watching "The Proud Family" on television. I think she's supposed to be in bed. I just told her to go brush her teeth and tongue and use the bathroom before I read her a bedtime story and tuck her in.

She took a bath earlier and did her homework with Daddy while I was at the nail salon. ;) Married life is wonderful. My hubby is a good daddy and husband... even though he has YET to shave his head or his scruffy beard. <> He just doesn't know how much I love him bald and clean shaven (except for his shaped goatee moustache). His job is sending him to Brussells in a couple of weeks and I am tempted to tell him to keep his hair and beard this way while he is in Europe so that no women will hit on him!!! He just looks so dramatically different this way... Maybe it's just my own prejudices... oh well...

G'night, till tomorrow!

BB in Baton Rouge

Raven Symone is my daughters HERO!

2005-04-25T20:09:00.000-07:00

We're sitting and watching "That's So Raven!".

Raven Symone is a very talented girl. She's so young, but she's so focused and about her business. I think she's beautiful, and my daughter wants to be just like her when she grows up - she already acts like her now... she's such a ham!

I'm not in such a writing mood tonight... kind of tired. I went to the doctor with my husband this afternoon, and we got a quick checkup. Next Monday we need to go back for some blood work and labs.

My husband looks so gorgeous bald, with his sexy little goatee... and now he is irritating the hell out of me by growing his hair out... ARGH! It looks bad to me because now you see this huge old man's bald spot in the front, and the beard he is growing out looks all shaggy and unkempt. I get so excited rubbing his sexy bald head, and now I can't do that anymore. Each day that goes by that he keeps it long and scruffy looking just pisses me off more... I even offered to shave it for him! I don't know why he would want to go around looking like he is sixty years old when he looks so sexy the other way! :( I'll let you know when he shaves... This is driving me crazy... I told him.. no booty until he shaves.. I don't think I can hold out, though. That man is amazing... Mmm... LOL

BB in Baton Rouge

Boring Sunday Afternoon...

2005-04-24T11:08:00.000-07:00

Good morning... or afternoon, depending on when you choose to wake up on Sundays! I woke up at 12:30pm. Is that too late? LOL

My major event this morning was finding out that I had MAD TV Tivo'ed last night, and it was a new episode (looked to be promisingly funny!) - but Nascar overrode the show. MAD came on two minutes before the Tivo stopped recording ARGH...

My exhusband called my daughter this morning to talk to her.

He has a new family now, and during the summer she will be visiting him and his family along with my mom in Las Vegas. He's a nice guy, just not MY guy. I'm sure they will be happy together, he and his new wife and kids. We get a long great as long as he does what he promises for my babygirl.

Will post later on...

BB in Baton Rouge

Just A Quick Hello!

2005-04-23T21:48:00.000-07:00

No Feedback ... bummer!

2005-04-23T18:10:00.000-07:00

Well, I have been watching my blog to see if anyone has commented on it and that's a big NEGATIVE ... kind of discouraging.

Is there any one out there? Is anyone listening? I feel like a bespectacled, buck toothed, naturally curly haired schoolgirl on prom night.

Sigh...

On with the timeline!

November 2002 - More often than not, T.O. is spending the night at my apartment. He is very sweet to my daughter. She asks if she can call him Daddy and he says yes! I start working at a local mortgage company - my first introduction to the wide world of mortgages. I make more money than I have ever made before.

February 2003 - T.O. says we should start looking for a house to live in together - I am paying over $900/mo in rent and he pays over $400. We could live in a nice home for that! I try to hide my enthusiasm, but I am thrilled! I can't help it, finally... a home of my own. We chat about marriage, but I tell him I am not ready for that yet. Being divorced less than two years ago has made me weary of the "M" word!

April 2003 - WE FOUND OUR HOME and close in April. Gorgeous 4 bedroom, 2 bath brick home on 1/4 of an acre lot with 2 car garage! Ceramic tile floors, recessed ceilings, triple crown molding, open bar kitchen.... I am in heaven.

July 2003 - We are pregnant! I cry, smile, cry, smile... Not sure if we are ready. Still very excited. T.O. has no kids of his own yet, and his grandmother is thrilled too. She thinks we should get married before the baby is born, but she's not mean about it. Everyone at work is excited for me. My due date is March 2004!

Early August 2003 - Mom and Dad come to visit us in our home and T.O. asks them for permission to marry me.

My father gives us his blessings, and we all talk about the future for a long while. I'm all warm and fuzzy. Life is beautiful. We don't know exactly when we will marry, but we definitely know we will.

End of August 2003 - Early one morning, I start cramping. I start bleeding. The doctor says to get ready and come to the hospital. My mom and dad are still visiting with us. I go to use the restroom before we leave and miscarry in the bathroom. This is all a blur. Lots of blood, screaming, and tears. It's all over. Marked as the worse day of my life by far.

September 2003 - I take a month off work. Can't function. Can't talk to anyone. I go into seclusion and cry an awful lot.

October 2003 - Better now. I start back at work. Difficult to look into the concerned faces.

December 2003 - Insanity breaks out at work. The most awesome boss I have ever had gets promoted and SATAN takes his place. Hell on earth ensues.

January 2004 - I don't work there anymore. :(

March 2004- Begin work at Ameriquest. An old friend the previous job refers me and gets me the job. (Thanks, girl!)

April-June 2004 - Ameriquest is like mortgage boot camp. Working from 8am - 9 or 10pm EVERYDAY. Must work on Saturday mornings, too. BOOOOO... looking for an out. Tired of being tired.

June 2004 - I bring my daughter to Las Vegas for the summer to spend time with my parents and her real dad.

June 20, 2004 - On Fathers Day, my dad calls T.O. and tells him Happy Fathers Day and thank you for taking care of me and my daughter. They talk for a good hour about everything under the sun. Clarence tells me later that he enjoyed the conversation.

June 22nd, 2004 - I get a call at work and my mom and brother tell me that my father went unconscious upstairs in the bedroom and went into a seizure. My six year old daughter saw everything and cried, getting on her hands and knees to pray for him to get better. He never wakes up. I get plane tickets to fly out ASAP.

June 23rd, 2004 - The world spins out of control and flips inside out. The sky falls and the ground caves in. Life as we know it has ended. It will never be the same again. The most incredible man in this entire universe has ceased to exist on this earthly plane. How do people continue to live their daily lives? How does the sun continue to set and rise like nothing has happened?

July 2004 - After helping my mom get business in order and trying to help her as much as possible, at the end of July I return home to Baton Rouge. Hardest thing ever to leave my mom there alone.

At least my brother still lives in Las Vegas with his family, he can help my mom out.

October 2004 - Another old friend from my first mortgage job calls me out of the blue to ask if I want to come work with her at Wells Fargo. It seems like everyone is gravitating over there. More than five people at Ameriquest have quit to go to work there in the last few months, including the manager of Ameriquest! The new manager confides that she will be going there soon, too, and we leave together. I start at Wells Fargo immediately. It is a dream come true.

Late October 2004 - T.O.'s grandmother goes into the hospital. Her heart stops twice! She is unconscious for days, it is very touch and go. We travel the hour or so to her home many time during the next couple of weeks to see her. After a three or four weeks, she makes an amazing recovery! We thank God for her survival. (I love his grandmother, she is a wonderful woman.)

November 2004 - T.O. and I go to Las Vegas to GET MARRIED!!! Beautiful wedding with gorgeous pictures! As soon as I get my HELLO problem fixed, I will post the pictures. T.O. gives my daughter a promise ring and says vows to her, also. It's amazing. My dad's brother walks me down the aisle and states that he is doing so for my daddy.

December 2004 - First Christmas spent as a family. Again, I have plenty of pictures. Will post as soon as possible.

Feeling very content and satisfied. Still cry about my father when I am in the car alone, driving. (Not so safe!) But I am healing. T.O.'s grandmother goes back into the hospital for a couple of weeks, we bring her presents to her in her room (new sunflower dishes and accessories), she loves them. She returns home to the relief of her little Pomeranian companion, Luke.

February 2005 - I start having to urinate often, and I am always thirsty. I wonder if it's diabetes, so I make an appointment to have a battery of tests done to check my health. I find out I DO have diabetes, just as my father did. I start taking Glucovance. Scary, and I begin a new workout and diet regimen.

March 2005 - My mom, my sister, and her two daughters come to visit us in our home. My sister leaves after only a few days, my mom stays a couple of weeks. I love her so much!

April 2005 - Well, here we are. What can I say? It's been a crazy five years, but I can't complain. My husband is wonderful, my daughter is a joy, and I am the happiest I have been in a while. Aside from the constant dull ache of my daddy's absence...

I couldn't be better.

And this is where we begin. :)

BB in Baton Rouge

Drama 101

2005-04-22T01:24:00.000-07:00

Sooo today was pretty uneventful. Today I am 249 pounds, down from the 257 I was in September of 2004. Yay, me! I go to the gym 3-4 times a week now and try to watch what I am eating ever since they told me I had diabetes.

My husband keeps asking me if I am cheating on him (all the late nights coming home from the gym after work). I go to an all-woman gym facility, and the worst secret I am keeping from him is that I love Tapioca smoothies and treat myself to one after the gym normally (I know, cancels out my workout, right? So sue me.) I could never cheat on my honey, he is the sweetest most wonderful man alive (now that my Daddy has passed away - almost a year now)!

Let me add a little bit more onto my timeline:

March 2002 - My new sweety who I met on Match.com, let's just call him THE ONE. Well, good ole T.O. gives me a computer. And a television. And a stereo to go with the tv. I wonder if he is serious or are we still playing around with this relationship thing?

April-July 2002 - I left my four year old daughter with my mom and dad in Las Vegas when I had to make the sudden move to Baton Rouge at the beginning of the year.

Getting restless waiting for my situation to get stable enough for her to join me. Hate my job as a serious loan shark for a less than reputable $75 - $400 personal loan company. They ask me to work extra hours without pay, berate and insult me, and generally don't give a flying fuck about me or my employees. On the brighter note, my relationship is going hot and heavy! I think I am falling in looooove. Do these internet matchmaker things REALLY work out?

August 2002 - My daughter comes to Baton Rouge to live with me again! My mom and dad drive her out, meet my special sweety, and approve. T.O. and my dad both are coo coo for coco puffs about computers and they connect at once. All is right with the world.

September 2002 - Someone breaks into my loan shop overnight, ransacks the entire store, and steals a hidden deposit bag filled with approximately $5000 in cash. I suspect my employee, who is a young girl who just happens to skip town that weekend. My world crumbles as I wonder what I am going to do, I know they will blame me, why didn't I drop the bag at the bank like I was supposed to the night before instead of waiting until the next morning to do the deposit slip work???

September 2002 - I am fired from my job. Yeah, the one that moved me out here in the first place? You know, the one that was paying my apartment rent????

October 2002 - T.O. begins paying my rent and my car payment. Where did I find this guy!? Whew... he is a lifesaver. I begin to truly believe he may honestly love me.... my walls are coming down slowly.

... to be continued

Frustrated with The World Day

2005-04-21T01:39:00.000-07:00

... Okay, maybe not the ENTIRE world, but geesh. I am trying to upload some pictures onto this blog (my photo, some examples of my miniature painting, etc.) and I can not for the life of me get this HELLO and PICASA2 to work. It keeps telling me, "Hello embedded error occured" in the chat box whenever I go to send the pictures to the BloggerBot.

Needless to say, driving me nuts. Oh well, I have a help ticket in to Picasa, and I joined their google group to see if I can get some help.

Anyway...

Well, I guess I can begin this blog by giving you a brief summary of what has happened in my life in the last five years. This should be interesting:

June 2000 - separated from my then-husband, let's call him Wrong. Mr. Wrong, to you.

December 2000 - began Weight Watchers and extreme bike riding.

May 2001 - Lost a total of 80 pounds in just under 6 months! Looking smokin' and completely celebate for the last full year - I'll be damned if I will end up on some rebound relationship from hell.

July 2001 - Officially divorce my now EX-husband, Wrong - Mr. Wrong, to you.

August 2001 - Old boyfriend I haven't seen since high school comes into town from Korea, where he has been stationed in the Army. Haven't seen him in YEARS (graduated in 1996, you do the math). We rent a romantic cabin in the mountains (snow and all) ALL weekend. My mom watches my 3 year old daughter for me. She knows I am proud of my new body and my new independence and she's happy for me. (We don't tell my dad where I am going LOL) BEST time I have had in a long while... he is gorgeous and we laugh a lot. Neither of us holds any expectations - he knows I am still recovering and in no mood for a serious relationship yet, I know he is still traveling with his work and soon will be out of town for months, years even. Doesn't make the time we spend together any less TREMENDOUS.

September 2001 - Start dating a preachers son. Let's call him USHER. (He was head of the usher board at church, natch.) Things get too serious way too fast. I start looking for a quick exit.

January 2002 - My job gives me one. Offer me a position in Baton Rouge, Louisiana heading up a small loan company like the one I am currently assistant manager of in Las Vegas. PERFECT EXIT... I pack my bags and drive myself in my lil green Hyundai Elantra cross country in one weekend. Me and Usher say we will keep in touch. Yeah.

February 2002 - Through MATCH.COM (shameless plug) I meet an interesting gentleman who, funny enough, happens to live right around the corner from my new apartment (all expense paid by my employer, of course). We have our first date at Kamado's, a Japanese Sushi Restaurant. He spends close to $200 that night. HE IS FIIIINE!!!!! His ad on Match.com didn't have a picture, so I was weary, but when I saw him. OH MY. Dark ebony skin, sexy shaven completely bald head, over six feet tall, black and silver goatee moustache... My heart stopped. He could've had me right there on the hibachi. ;)

... to be continued

Welcome To The Wide World Of Blog

2005-04-19T22:33:00.000-07:00

“Blog” – or Web Log, if you will. A web page especially made by someone to broadcast their daily thoughts and mind wanderings to the world.

… sounds dangerous if you ask me.

-BB in Baton Rouge